Healing

I need some healing (Erykah Badu - The Healer). As I sit in this moment feeling abandoned, I wonder about my relationships. I question what is real, who is in my life without compulsion and what deserves to be edited. I've always had what I like to call a healthy paranoia, but that takes a lot of energy to maintain. However, the consequence of trust can sometimes be irreparable. A few weeks ago I posted a John Mayer video called, "In Repair." Somehow I never fully recovered from that situation and since then more has decided to pile. I am navigating the pain of betrayal. In my battle to fight the robots and vampires I have been confronted with the gross abuse of my commitment to that which is greater than myself and still stand alone...Again, holding the bag.

I appreciate all of my companero/as who have been there to urge my sanity and strength. I find solace in knowing that even in this hyper-reality there is still truth and love. That there is loyalty that supercedes the xeroxed interactions afforded by fuckery and duplicity.

In times like these I'm reminded of my purpose. And I'm reminded by the women in my life of what I must do. Here's to my conscious, the voice of sistas: healers, warrior-queens, lovers, historians, brokers of patience, liberators, mothers, educators, black, brown and beige you are.

Thank you for the reminder Mahalia and Duke-Black, Brown and Beige, Pt. 4 ( Come Sunday).

Stay Sucka-Free Y'all...please
f.negro