THE BLUES*
From Jena 6 to San Francisco 8...and Megan Williams

It appears that justice has a propensity for miscarriage when it comes to us(and other historically oppressed peoples for that matter). The elders and da yout' dem. How is it that we sit still while such bullshit parades as reality? Furthermore, how is that we allow such characterizations and injustices to occupy the periphery? And I'm not talking about the simple issues of why isn't this on CNN or Fox, I'm talking about our everyday conversations. We seem to be more "interested" in celebreality and entertainment. If I hear one more reference to the 50 cent-Kanye West soundscan battle I'm gone burn a muthafucka up. I'm serious! I mean other than those two and their respective music companies, who gives a damn who sells the most records? I'm inclined to believe that that information will not significantly impact anybody's life. And someone may retort that the Jena 6(5) and San Francisco 8 cases don't mean shit to them, but I would ask those skeptics to think about how easily that could be them or someone they love. Being falsely criminalized is something that happens daily to Black folks, especially those with something meaningful to say and action to back it up(please click San Francisco 8 link above). But how flagrant it is for these young brothas to even be imprisoned, facing up to 100 years for a fuckin' fight is beyond words. How the fuck do you turn a high school fight into attempted murder?! Asinine. But it is refreshing to see community members, activists, academicians, artists, and students respond to these issues. Because it seems we forget real quick what happens when the world doesn't give a damn about you because of how you look, what you think, where you live, etc(It feels like Katrina happened 50 years ago). But the vanguard is still reminding us and speaking loud about these atrocities, like the Mighty Mos Def on Bill Maher: click here! And to add fuel to the fire, there is the Megan Williams case, where a young sista was tortured and raped in West Virginia. Please click here to learn about this horrific story. It seems that while we have so much to be happy and grateful for, there is much to be upset, pissed off and indignant about. Look folks, while we stay seated the world is happening and instead of sufferin' and shmilin' we need to get up and bust a grape!! Sign a petition, tell a friend, send an email, donate, whatever--just do something! Remember: silence is consent.

Until next time y'all stay sucka free,

F. Negro

*The Black News = The Blews(The Blues)

Test(icular.)
Not a champion, but a professional-I have learned to disengage and run like the best of 'em. I'm tired now, have been for quite some time. Unable to find justifiable reasons anymore, because the hedge of illusion has been removed. Talked to a friend yesterday who told me he was getting married, I aptly replied: "Shut the f@ck up!" Only because I never thought I would see the day that he committed himself to something more than himself and his career. After that conversation I was left numb--thinking about all that I lose sight of much too easily. I wonder about being Him for you and what that would entail. Is that the next step to take? All of this lip service I've given about being loved unconditionally and when those conditions are present I become callous or distant, as if I'm protecting myself. From what I'm inclined to ask, but that wouldn't be authentic nor original. I am a conservative monogamist by chart, however it appears that there are some latent fears that override my inheritance. There is a piece of history that I have yet to fully come to terms with, and it continues to neutralize my passion for risk. Disallowing my heart to discover freedom again *sigh1*.

i want to spend my words wisely, writing for you melodies

that appeal to your sense of sound and sweetness.

discarding your reservations of the unknown.

editing the reality that you have so uncomfortably sewn.

i want to be that renewal that sustains commitment and desire-

that renewal which repopulates your spirit with infants of inspiration...

so that we may grow and develop a family of artists

destined to change this quadrant of the cosmos.

Somehow I'm dissatisfied with the way I breathe these days, the air is absent of your fragrance. What if I see you again so that my asthma can be cured? *sigh2* I often wonder if you have the fortitude to deal with my nonsense and pathology--or are you misinformed about who I am. How can I lie despondent when the architect of hope rests in the balance of our dreams? I can deliberate over those questions no longer. I need to either take the damn exam or walk away a la David Ruffin. Be brave and defy logic, odds, enemies and fuckery.

Re: Birth

So I'm a horrible blogger. I always manage to busy myself with other random projects like: rehearsal, work, sitting on my porch, thinking...you know--life. But I felt compelled today. I am moving closer to 30 and had the opportunity to celebrate my bornday with some beautiful folks--my new extended family. It was a wine and waffle party, inspired by one friend and reimagined by another. I also received some very thoughtful and provocative gifts via snail mail(gotta love that shit!). All of which I want to publicly thank everyone for--rather your contribution was direct or indirect!![Question 1: Are you still in/out my life for the reasons you entered?]

This time of year is always sensitive for me, because (re)birth is a delicate moment in life. It is the period were we (re)enter this space and contribute our concentrated molecules to the socio-spiritual ecology of the planet/universe. The world is altered as a result and subsequent events work to continue the universal balancing. It is an honorable day for most, but for me it can be a bit of tear-jerker. I feel that I'm still reconciling...My need to finish healing my relationship with my biological parents is an issue that is illuminated ever year at this exact time. In fact, this year was the first time that my father EVER told me happy birthday! I'm still not sure how I feel about it...I'll have to get back to you. [Question 2: How do you heal/reconcile that which has produced so much pain?]

There are some that I care about who I didn't hear from and it made me wonder, has the season of our relationship passed? Is it worth broaching the topic? Or am I just overreacting?....truly a reflective day. There was a rush of emotions, traversing the continuum from sad to mad, happy to excited, dispossessed and tenuous--explosive and exhausting yesterday was(in my gangsta Yoda voice). That's why I sat/laid on my couch the WHOLE day. [Question 3: Where is this going?The way I feel about you is undeniable, even though its not always communicated clearly. Sorry, I know I'm fucked up, but I hope you find what you're looking/waiting for. I hope we find it simultaneously]

This year I want to love myself again. I want to love my family & friends more. I want to love HER better. I want to kiss the soil of my fore bearers. I want to remember/be reminded of/pay attention to why I am HERE everyday. I want to have my grits with catfish. I want to continue becoming the man that my grandfather raised me to be, that my father wanted to be, that my brother admires in me. I want to be fearless, passionate and purposeful. And I want to learn how to live the life my ancestors prayed/wished/hoped for me. I just want to BE THANKFUL! I learned that from a Fallen Angel, obrigada.

Until next time--stay sucka free.

F.Negro